Returning to the U.S. and the Episcopal Church after eight years of Church of England chaplaincies in Europe and 25 years as a missionary in Latin America, I feel like Alice passing through the looking glass into Wonderland.

I've found the word "fornication" seemingly removed from the church's vocabulary, the rationale being that we all have a right to do whatever "comes naturally." I find ladies celebrating Solemn Eucharists and donning mitres, the Bible regarded as inspirational literature but lacking any real authority, and the infallibility which Anglicanism denied the Bishop of Rome now given to the General Convention, with the result that those who cannot accept innovations unknown in the first 1,950 years of the church are now persecuted. Perhaps the laity can remain "in the closet," but it seems that ordained ministers must agree, no matter what their conscience (and holy scripture) says or leave the Episcopal Church.

Is it possible to believe that all of us as sinners need the salvation which is uniquely available through faith in a crucified and risen Savior? That the holy scriptures are the divinely inspired word of God and speak with authority? That intrinsic changes in holy orders can be made only by the entire church and consistent with biblical and apostolic tradition? That all persons, be they heterosexual or homosexual, are called to exercise their sexuality in accordance with biblical norms? Is it possible to believe these and still remain a member of the Episcopal Church in good standing?

I write this out of a disturbed conscience. If my questions cannot be answered, at least I ask your prayers for those of us with similar convictions and who are still attempting to live the Christian life within the Episcopal Church.

(The Rev.) James R. Harkins, SSC

New York, N.Y.